Hello again,

It’s been a week since I’ve posted as I’ve been absolutely swamped with homework. I’m in my final two classes for college right now and shit is getting real, I’m officially done in 2 1/2 weeks (freaking the heck out just a bit). Anyway, I had an excellent mail day today and felt that it was necessary to talk about one of my absolute favorite indie brands, keep reading and then shop and it’ll be one of your favorites too! Because these products are what I would so lovingly refer to as “the tits”!

Darling Clandestine is the company that I’m talking about and they have an amazing Etsy site where you can purchase their products. This company is based in Texas and they focus on making the most kick-ass perfumes that I have ever had the pleasure of placing on my skin (It puts the perfume on it’s skin, It puts it on real good). The owner, Evonne, is one interesting lady and you can follow her escapades on Instagram or Facebook 

Today I received an order that I had made during their Valentines Day release and then bought something else (because I’m addicted) and had that added to my order. The perfume oils that I received are Halochrome (full size, bottle), Love and Sharks blue edition (full size, solid), Reddit Hug of Death (full size, super sassy bottle limited to V-Day), Blue Valentine (bitsy), Vardogr (bitsy solid, this was free, THANKS EVONNE!).

Now, I’m not very good at describing scents and I’m even worse at describing DC scents because they are so obscure, yet so delightful. I will say this, if you are sick and tired of mainstream, alcohol and daisies scented perfume, Darling Clandestine is where you need to shop.

Valentine's release order...

Valentine’s release order…

Now let’s talk about the scent descriptions, I’m gonna just snag those from their page because I will do them no justice.

Reddit Hug of Death: Intense black tea infused with a trio of fruits-strawberries, blackberries, and sweet red apples-grounded with vetiver and ginger and tonka bean.

My goodness, it smells like fruity black tea that you purchased from a fancy tea shop.


Blue Valentine: A moody bouquet of hyacinth and violet and poppies and figs, washed down with shots of real whiskey and bitters and delicate musks and mint.

I smell violet, sooo much gorgeous violet. You all know how I adore the scent of violets. This is boozy, floral perfection.


Love and Sharks Blue: There’s no cherry in this blend. Complementing the salty sharkskin instead is a swirl of blueberries and blackberries, taffy-pull vanilla, aged rum and a dusting of dark cocoa.

Holy WOAH! This perfume is incredible! I smell sweet and salty and I just want it to be summer. I am in love with this perfume, it immediately makes me think of walking into candy shops on the pier in Monterey. Cool story, Evonne ran out of labels for the pot and so she made me a totally awesome wax seal for the top instead, WAY cooler and I am not disappointed at all!

Check out that wax seal!!! So fancy.

Check out that wax seal!!! So fancy.


Halochrome: Tanika showed me a really pretty fluorescent germ-cell stain. It made me want to create something deep but bright. She told me she’s fond of the term “halochromism”—color changes that happen in certain substances and tissues because of a change in pH. I suddenly decided I wanted a fragrance with a “color shift,” one that would run the gamut of ROYGBIV. Thus was born a synaesthetic adventure for your skin. She’s a rainbow.

Now that’s the scent description that left me completely speechless. What is this magic? What does that even mean? WHAT ARE THIS? I’ll tell you what it is, it’s spicy and floral, citrusy and green. I don’t even know what to say besides that it’s amazing, it’ll blow your mind, and you need it!


Vardogr: This weird little concoction is truly a masterpiece. Oh, it’s gooood. And weird. Dark, damp, herbal—mossy forest floors, sunken alleys, underground spaces—with a dozen unlikely notes including pure essential German chamomile, bitter black coffee, hazy Indian musks, sharp herbs and a whip of leather. It’s not for everyone. It’s strange. But oh my, is it fantastic

Yep, this ones weird, but soooo good. I don’t get coffee but I do get a mossy, damp forest with that little bite of leather. I never knew I was a fan of leather as a perfume but it has quickly become a note that I adore, and every perfume I own that has a leather note in it has become one that I wear constantly.

On the left, on the left, full size solid and bottle to the left. Uhhh, nothing catchy is coming to mind, so, on the right bitsy solid and bitsy bottle.

On the left, on the left, full size solid and bottle to the left. Uhhh, nothing catchy is coming to mind, so, on the right bitsy solid and bitsy bottle.


Now, in honor of “Tits Tuesday” we will put the focus on my favorite of all DC scents and that perfume is My Lady Ser, I don’t ever want to be without it, I love it so.

My Lady Ser first came to me in an itsy bitsy bottle that my good friend Rachel ordered for me. She’s a sweetheart and the reason I fell in love with DC (she’s also the reason I’m broke <3). I have now acquired a full size bottle because I needed it, obviously.  From the moment I read the description of My Lady Ser, I knew that I needed it:

“I find the relationship between Brienne of Tarth and Podrick Payne to be among the purest in the ASoIaF series. This fragrance is muddy roads, dinted iron, horses and stables and miles in the saddle, whispering woods, misty fields, a cup of watered cider in a dark tavern, a flash of steel, a breath of wildflowers. But not roses. Never roses”

On the right you can see my set of My Lady Ser. The rest are other loves of mine.

On the right you can see my set of Tits, woah, excuse me, I mean My Lady Ser. The rest are other loves of mine.

I have a very deep affection for Game of Thrones and especially Brienne, she’s such a tough and reliable person, when I grow up I want to be her. I smell water, leather and metal. Now those notes may not sound very feminine, and this is definitely a scent that could be considered unisex but I kid you not, I’ve never felt like more of a woman than when I wear this perfume. And man, I feel like a woman….

This perfume changed my life, I will never, ever buy mainstream perfume again. In fact, this perfume is the reason why every single one of my mainstream perfumes made their way into a box and were banished to a dark closet. Good riddance! Ain’t nobody got time for you!


So any-who, this sums up my little and ever-growing collection of Darling Clandestine perfumes. Aren’t they all so pretty? Wait, what the heck are you still doing here? Get your butt on over to the DC Etsy shop and buy you some pretties! You know you wanna.

Until we meet again.

Fare thee well,

Fair Maiden

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